MateriaNapped
by Speedy Speck
Summary: Tifa, Reno and their daughter are at the park when the ninja shows up, but when she leaves her Materia stash in the care of the couple, they soon find themselves in another, strange world...One-Shot...Written for the Sacred and Profane


Disclaimer: Final Fantasy does not belong to me...however much I may like it to. I own no characters, places etc. etc. so please don't sue me! I'm a nice person :)

Author's Note: Sixty-Seventh fanfic...Written for 'The Sacred and Profane'...PLEASE review as I really enjoy reading your views and they inspire me to get better!!! It would make me very very happy! Anyway stop reading this and get on with reading the fic!! Hope you enjoy!! :)

A selection of gentle, unseen rays dazzled down from the high burning sun, and surrounded the park with a perfect summer air, being both pure in warmth and yet broken occasionally by a soft, tingling breeze.

The young brunette emitted a sigh of contentment as her crimson-tinted gaze roamed over the forms of her husband and their six year old daughter, both of whom were twirling upon the roundabout; with the red head Turk darting a leg out every so often to add some extra speed, or to quell it when his little girl began to feel queasy.

A few childish screams of delight erupted from Elly as her father suddenly stopped the piece of playground equipment, and began chasing after her, lunging his arms about and making growling deeply like a grizzly bear; a new game no doubt that they'd just created from a few simple teases.

The young woman chuckled inwardly, as her grin increased in volume; she would never have believed that she, Tifa Lockhart, could be so happy married to a Turk, and a Reno shaped one no less! But it had been eight years now and she'd never felt so in love. The birth of their daughter Elly had been the icing on the cake, and now she felt her family really was complete.

Could this day get anymore perfect?

"Oh my Gawd! Tifa, is that you?''

Her smile dropped immediately, and was soon replaced by a rather half-hearted look of cheery surprise.

"Oh, hey Yuffie…''

The petite ninja skipped over to her seated form, with an air of energetic cheeriness. It was hard to believe that the princess was now approaching her thirties, she hadn't changed at all; she was still nearly always hyper, constantly dramatic, and from what Tifa and her husband had heard from Rude; demanded animal shaped pancakes for breakfast every morning, covered in chocolate sauce and rainbow sprinkles.

"Yuffie!'' Both Tifa and the ninja turned their attention towards the source of the call, and soon their gaze was drawn to the little girl, whom was now running across the emerald grass with a wide, toothy grin, whilst her short-cut, flame red hair, bounced softly about her face, like a brightened frame.

"Hey, Elly! Having fun?''

The six-year old clapped excitedly, "Yeah, daddy's been trying to eat me!''

Yuffie raised a solitary eyebrow at the growling form of Reno, whom had continued to chase his daughter all the way over to the new –formed group, though the moment his aquamarine gaze came across the petite ninja, he halted in the act and shot her one of his supposedly dark glares, before slumping down next to his wife.

Noticing the discontinuation from her father, Elly turned to the ninja for a new form of play, tugging upon her shorts pleadingly, "You wanna come push me on the swings? Please, pretty, pretty pleeeeaassssseeee!''

Yuffie smirked cheekily "Sure, you go pick one, I'll be there in a sec kay?''

The little girl beamed widely, and began skipping off towards the chained seats, whilst the ninja shrugged off a satchel-like bag from her shoulder, before dangling it above the brunette and her husband.

"Here, take care of this!''

"What is it?'' Tifa's brow furrowed, as she slowly began to cradle the weighted bottom of the bag,

Yuffie's face flashed with a proud sort of delight, "It's my Materia bag, I carry it around with me anytime I'm out for…easy collecting.''

"But…it's full.''

The ninja's own brow contorted in a wistfully perplexed form of confusion, "And…?''

Tifa's mouth hung open for a few seconds before she managed to emit a response, "And, It's only eleven o'clock! Where did you get it all?''

Yuffie shrugged and pulled on a playfully relaxed expression, "Bushes…bins…peoples pockets, you know, the usual!''

Before either the brunette or her husband could put up any sort of protest, the petite ninja turned heel and swiftly skipped off to join the waiting Elly.

Once she was out of ear-shot, Reno wrapped an arm around his wife, and muttered in a plotting amusement, "I swear one of these days that thief is gunna get her comeuppance…''

Tifajustsighed in agreement, before lowering her head onto Reno's lap, allowing her long, brunette locks to spread out upon the dark material of his jeans, with each strand soon picking up its own reflective tint from the glittering, summer rays.

They proceeded to share a few moments of quiet rest, before a light smirk graced the red head's lips, "Maybe we should make that day today…''

"What are you taking about?'' Tifa shifted slightly, though allowed her eyes to remain closed.

"I'm thinking…we should steal that Materia stash right back…Rright from under her nose. That ought to wipe the smile off her face!''

The sudden increase in volume from her husband forced the brunette to grimace with irritation, her finely tuned senses clearly upset at the disturbance, "Reno, we can't…''

The red head reached across his wife's stomach and hoisted up the over-filled bag, "Sure we can, it'll be easy! All we have to do-"

He halted as a particularly incandescent Materia spilled from the satchel's unzipped opening, and fell directly down upon his lap, where it soon began to sent out humming vibrations.

Within moments it emitted two, rather pale beams, both of which quickly connected with the couple's stunned forms, before transforming them into nothing but smoky wisps and pulling them straight into the glowing orb.

Elly, whom had been watching the whole spectacle from her swinging position, tilted her head in the direction of her pusher, with a curious bafflement expressed within her tone, "Yuffie…where did mummy and daddy go?''

The ninja squinted, as she gazed over at the spot where the married couple should have been sprawled, though when all she was met with was the sight of a small orb, now glowing furiously, her eyes widened, "Eh oh..."

* * *

"Reno…what's going on?'' The brunette clung to her husband's arm with an almost painful tightness, as her head twitched about the area in nervous confusion.

"We're both inside a Materia, that's the extent of my knowledge.''

Tifa raised a solitary eyebrow, "Oh, great…''

Although they were both aware of their 'kidnapped' state, they'd hardly have been blamed for doubting it, with the area around them somewhat differed for what they might have guessed a Materia's interior would look like; instead of finding themselves standing upon some unseen white space, the couple found their feet comforted by jade green, long-grown blades of grass, whilst their surroundings melted away to a rather 'olde worlde' like landscape, and there was even an old, rickety looking thatched house, planted firmly by a nearby apple tree.

The brunette loosened her grip upon Reno's clothed arm, and studied the house with interest, "Maybe we should see if anyone's in…they might be able to help.''

He emitted an over-dramatic huff, "Or eat us…''

"Reno…''

The red head turned to find his wife staring at him, one solitary eyebrow raised, and no hints of a smile upon her lips.

A few seconds passed before he cracked with a sulking sigh, "Fine…but if we get eaten I'm blaming you.''

The couple approached the brown, lacquered-chipped front door with a certain degree of hesitation, though when the brunette came to knock upon it's surface, it began to open by its own accord, creaking dangerously as it did so.

A croaked roar sounded from one of the two scurrying form's within the kitchen area, both of which looked almost identical to the entering couple, apart from their aged nature and bickering disposition.

The male, whom looked to be about ninety years old, was busily observing a small packet with disgust, "I said I wanted goat's cheese, this is cow's cheese!''

"Stop moaning you old crack-pot.'' The frail, yet strangely spirited looking brunette pulled a funny, if not to beautiful face, and carried on with her stirring.

"Why don't you just shut that wrinkly trap of yours, you wind-bag.''

The old woman spun on the spot, hands on podgy hips, "Wrinkly, you're one to speak, look at yourself! You look like some haggard, old prune!''

Both Reno and Tifa had been observing the scene in a stunned silence, as though transfixed by the oddity of it, though eventually the red head managed to turn to his wife, if only slightly, and whisper in a surreal confusion, ''This is weird...''

The small wisp like sound he had emitted immediately drew the attention of the argumentative pair, and in one perfect motion, they simultaneously jumped to their feet, pointed at the new-comers and screeched, "Argh! Intruders!''

As the younger couple began to back away, they heard the aged woman turn to the wrinkled red head, a croak, in a snarling command, "Get my broom…''

* * *

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…''

Yuffie was traipsing up and down the small trail of park that surrounded the brightened orb, whilst the little red head sat beside it, observing it with a strange sort of wonder.

A few moments passed, before the petite ninja finally snapped and jumped up and down in a panic, "This is a disaster!''

Elly's beautifully warm-brown eyes gazed up at the trembling woman, as a gentle smile played upon her perfectly pink lips, "Calm down silly, all we have to do is find a way to get them out.''

"I suppose…" She sighed in defeat, and plonked herself beside the small girl.

"It's just…'' Her eyes roamed over the Materia's reflective surface with a sense of intrigued concern, "…who knows what could be happening..."

* * *

After being chased from the rickety, thatched house, the pair found themselves running directly towards a quiet, deserted beach, or at least they thought it was deserted until they took a few moments out to rest upon a nearby rock, and found themselves in the perfect spot to view a rather odd, rather amusing scene, playing out mere metres before them.

There, sitting upon a well-filled rock pool, was a were-dressed young man, and from the small, golden crown upon his head, probably a prince of sorts, and sprawled within the pool was a beautiful mermaid, with her green finned tail reflective off the water's surface with a light delicacy, whilst her flame red hair cascaded down her back with a flowing fullness.

Reno didn't look so impressed at this new version of himself, as his mouth fell open in outraged disbelief, "What the hell!''

"Ah, this is priceless…" The brunette beside him emitted a delighted sigh, as withheld amusement took over.

"Yeah well, you're a man!''

Tifa looked at the scene once more, and observed her princely form, before turning back with a smirk, "So? At least I look good, you're a bloody mermaid! And you've got tiny-"

She was cut off when her red headed husband held up a hand in protest, "Oi...they're travel size, for convenience..."

The brunette tried her best to suppress a chuckle, "Is that right…''

The continued to watch the two fantastical love-birds sing out a rather soppy, and yet rather amazingly tuneful song about truth and longing, and all of those other things that found their way into show-stopping Disney films.

"Gross…'' The red headed observer grimaced, his lips curled downwards in repulsion.

Tifa gave him a playful punch upon the shoulder, and sighed wistfully, "I think it's romantic.''

Reno took another look at the enchanted couple a raised an eyebrow, "Pfft…Well…I still say it's gag-worthy.''

"Idiot.''

A few minutes passed in silence, as the prince and the mermaid finished up with their loving melody, and began to share, what was to be assumed, their first kiss, though as their lips came to meet, the red headed male, whom had remained leant against the rock made a fun sort of grunt.

"Tifa…''

The brunette sighed tiredly, but didn't turn her gaze, "What?''

"Is it me or is the tide coming in mighty fast…?''

* * *

"This is hopeless!'' The ninja stamped her foot against a nearby piece of play-equipment, and emitted a growl of frustration, "We'veshouted at it, spun it, stroked it, we've even used every Materia inside my satchel, and nothing works!''

Elly nodded in agreement, whilst her hands cupped the orb with a form of distaste, _Stupid thing…I want them back…I need them back…_

A gentle silence settled around the thoughtful pair for a couple of seemingly endless minutes, when, rather suddenly, the little red head twitched and turned to face the sulking form of Yuffie, "I've got an idea…''

She made an effort to show interest but fell short and instead emitted a quiet form of encouragement, obviously somewhat dubious as to its effectiveness.

Elly continued regardless, as her mind slowly began to process the chain of events that it had witnessed, "I was watching them…mummy and daddy, right before they disappeared...''

She pushed herself up from the soft, emerald blades, as her excitement increased, "I think, I mean I'm pretty sure it activated when it was dropped...so maybe…''

Her deep brown gaze quickly began to scan the area, soon coming to rest upon a rather large tree trunk, and without a word, she proceeded to hurl the glowing orb directly at the bark-coated wood, much to the ninja's dismay, whom had now decided to take notice.

"My Materia!''

* * *

After finding their feet to be getting a little too close to the water's edge for comfort, the couple made their way from the beach and back upon the grassy land, though inside of finding a house this time, they found a rather lovely looking woodland, and soon enough they had discovered a small footpath, and were making their way through it.

They'd been walking for a few minutes when, quite suddenly, a pair of bearded dwarfs jumped out into the middle of the path, just in front of their next step, and as they had come to expect, one looked remarkably like Tifa, with a brunette beard, and crimson eyes, whilst the other had a fuzzy mane of red curls, with piercing aquamarine eyes.

It was the latter that stepped forth first, and spoke with a degree of gruffness, "You shall go no further.''

Reno looked at his wife with a hint of confused amusement, before turning his attention back to the bearded new-comers, "Huh?''

The brunette dwarf stepped forward now and stuck out her, or his, tongue, before stating rather authoritatively, "He said 'you shall go no further'"

Tifa tilted her head slightly, and slowly allowed her brow to furrow, "Right…and why is that?''

"Because, you ain't paid the toll.''

The taller pair looked at one another, "Toll?''

The red haired dwarf began jumping up and down excitedly "Yeah, we want some rubies…and sapphires, any jewels will do!''

"Well we don't have any-" Reno halted when he noticed the two, bearded creatures had seemingly become transfixed by something, "What? What are you looking at?''

"You're hair…it's so…shiny…''

The brown bearded one took a step forward with wide eyes, whilst the red head hung back, apparently too stunned to move, though his voice seemed workable enough, as a hush of admiration was emitted, "Yeah…shiny…like diamonds…''

Reno's mouth dropped when he noticed that both creatures had whipped out sheer-like instruments, "Oh dear…''

Tifa pulled on a fake smile, and spoke quietly through clenched teeth, "Let's just back away…''

"Snip, snip…'' The dwarfs began to speak in a demonic, sing-song voice, as their cutting devices glinting through the air.

"AAHHH!''

Just as the dwarfs launched themselves at Reno's oh so precious hair, causing him to emit a rather high pitching scream, a piercing tingling rang throughout the air, before the couple felt themselves being pulled away, and moments later they found themselves thumped back down upon the emerald shaded park.

''Mum, Dad?!'' The little girl stood beside them, an ecstatic grin plastered upon her youthful face.

Tifa smiled warmly and pulled her daughter down to join them on the grassy flooring, ''Elly, sweetie, did you rescue us?''

The child wrapped her arms around her mother's neck, "Oh course!''

Reno, whom had been laying rather flat out, tooka brief second to observe the area with interest, ''Where's Yuffie?''

Elly planted a kiss on her father's cheek, as Tifa answered for her, ''I think she's made her escape...''

"And what about the Materia?''

The red head's brow raised in query, whilst the brunette gave a huff and shrugged, "Gone, no doubt back in her pocket as we speak..."

Her husband sighed contentedly, "Well, at least we can get some peace and quiet now...''

Reno sprawled himself out upon the grass once again, though the moment he went to allow a long suppressed yawn to escape his lips, all the air was expelled out of him by a rather energetic child bouncing up and down on his belly, begging for ice-cream.

* * *

The ninja stomped through the front door to the large flat she rented with her Turk boyfriend, and slumped down rather hard upon the sofa, causing the cushioned seat to emit a sudden 'puff' in protest.

She shifted about in place for a few moments, before reaching across and delving into the open satchel, and pulling out the incandescent Materia that had caused all the day's commotion.

"I can't believe Tifa and that dumbo got to have all the fun…'' a deep grunt passed through her lips, "It's not fair…I mean it is _**my **_Materia…'' she began to study the small orb in a wishing desperation, "Bet it was really cool…''

It was then that a resonating bang sounded from the door through which Yuffie had just passed, and soon enough the form of her bald, Turk boyfriend entered into the room.

She greeted him with a rather un-infused smile, "Hey.''

He noticed her lack of usual cheeriness immediately, and furrowed his brow in concern, "Everything ok?''

Yuffie opened her mouth to respond when, to her, a rather brilliant idea formed within her mind, and with a sudden rush of energetic swiftness, she leapt from the sofa, latched her five fingers between Rude's own, and happily dropped the glowing orb down between them both.

As the Materia began to emit the whitened rays, the bald male turned to his girlfriend, with a rather unamused expression, while she flashed him a cheeky, if unapologetic grin, "Oops…''

Before long the couple was thumped down upon a desert plane, with the heated sand beneath them, blowing about in their own wisp like clouds.

The ninja couldn't look more overjoyed, "Ah, cool! I wonder what-"

Her voice seemed to fade with the appearance of a rather large, rather hairy looking bear, wearing a pair of blacked-out sunglasses, with its towering shape casting the area in shadow, whilst and just behind it, stood a lizard, wearing shorts and spotting a choppy, raven-black hairdo.

"Yuffie…'' Rude began to shift backwards, whispering with more than a hint of fear in his voice.

The lizard's tongue whipped in and out with a hungry grace, whilst the bear growled in anticipation, before tilting towards its scaled partner, "Shall we eat them?"

* * *

A/N= Just want to apologise to S&P for the rather long wait with this! Hopefully it's alright!


End file.
